


Errors In Flirting

by mrbarbacarisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Awkward Flirting, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Neighbors, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pre-Relationship, pseudo-crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 04:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrbarbacarisi/pseuds/mrbarbacarisi
Summary: It started out as a very dumb joke. Now, Sonny's neighbor wanted to kick his ass.





	Errors In Flirting

It started out as a very dumb joke. 

Sonny had been decently drunk in his apartment with his study group from Fordham. Somehow, the subject of pranks came up. 

"You seriously never did one, Sonny?"

"Seriously. I went to a Catholic school. They would have expelled me on the spot. I wanted to graduate and, you know, not disappoint my ma."

"You're so boring."

"You _have_ to do one now."

"Uh, no. I don’t,” Sonny protested. He was not only a grown man but an NYPD detective. His prank pulling days had long since sailed away.

But his group was not going to let it go. (Especially Jared, who was always a little too eager when he was tipsy.) Several minutes of persisting later, Sonny finally caved. If this was the only way to get them to shut up, then whatever.

"Okay fine. But a small one." He remembered his neighbor's apartment number across the hall. When he had moved in, he became intensely jealous of that apartment. Number 404. He had the perfect joke stewing for months. "Let me get some paper and a pen."

He gathered a piece of printer paper and a black marker. He wrote a short message on it and then grabbed some tape. The study group stared at him.

"How is this a prank?"

"I haven't done it yet." Sonny walked to his door and opened it. The group gathered around the door frame as Sonny walked across the hall. Under their watchful gaze, Sonny taped the message under his neighbor's apartment number. 

He stepped back into his doorway to the sound of laughter. Under the number 404, Sonny's message read: "apartment not found."

“Oh my god. You're such a nerd. That was lame,” Jared said. 

Sonny shrugged as they retreated back into his apartment. "There's a reason you all want my subject outlines."

"Hey, it's his first prank. Cut him some slack. At least it has his sass."

Sonny laughed and shook his head. It was really one of the stupidest things he had ever done. 

  


* * *

  


He didn't consider how his neighbor might react until he heard the door across the hall open the next morning. 

Sonny quickly ran over to the peephole. A man was standing outside. A very attractive man, if his backside was anything to go by. He was dressed in an amazing suit and held a briefcase in his hand. His other hand was resting on his door as he examined the sign Sonny had taped to it the night before. The man ripped it down and crumpled the paper in his fist. Then, he turned and marched toward the elevator. 

_God_. Sonny suddenly had a desperate need to see that man again. 

Any rational person would have just knocked on their neighbor's door. Chatted them up, gotten to know them a little, and somehow slipped in a casual question about their sexual orientation. But that whole idea made Sonny extremely nervous. He was almost never rational when it came to flirting, even with people who were clearly interested in him.

Instead, he got up insanely early the next morning and stood vigil at his peephole. He waited for his neighbor to walk out his door. At 6 a.m. on the dot, his neighbor did so. 

He was handsome. Extremely. Sonny watched as he locked his door and left. Less than five seconds in his field of view. Not nearly long enough. Yesterday had been at least a minute. Sonny desperately wanted to see more of this man. 

He re-created his sign — in much nicer, legible handwriting this time — and waited until late that evening to tape it up. 

He was waiting with bated breath at his peephole the next morning for the results. Except the door never opened. He probably should have taken into consideration that it was a Saturday. His neighbor never left at any point. Not even when Sonny went to check his mail or throw out his trash. Sunday was the same. Did this man never come home on weekends or did he hole up in his apartment?

But on Monday, Sonny finally reaped his reward. His neighbor was wearing another nice suit. This time with a waistcoat that hugged his body perfectly. Sonny was ruined.

The man turned toward the elevators, but then drew up short. He had noticed the sign. He looked at it and sighed deeply. He crumpled it the same way he did before. Sonny had never been turned on by a just pair of hands. Looked like there really was a first time for everything.

This went on for several weeks. Sonny replaced the sign within a few days of it being ripped down. The neighbor appeared increasingly annoyed with each new sign. Sonny couldn't stop himself. The visual of his neighbor crumpling paper was too good to pass up. 

  


* * *

  


Sonny's guilt increased when he showed up for his first day at Manhattan SVU. Turned out his hot neighbor was a prosecutor who worked with the squad. Sonny tried his best to remain calm. There was no reason Rafael Barba would have recognized him. They had never met. Before he started the door sign pranks, Sonny had never even seen him in the apartment building. 

Sonny made sure to type all of his reports that were sent to Barba's office — just on the off chance he recognized the handwriting. He probably also should have stopped hanging the stupid sign on his door. He didn't. 

He did, however, finally shave his mustache like his sisters kept telling him to do. Sonny desperately wanted to impress Barba at least with his legal knowledge. Even if he did date men, Sonny didn't think it was likely Barba would be interested in him. He would take what he could get.

It wasn’t until he saw a notice hanging on the apartment bulletin board that Sonny decided to fess up. It was a typed message coupled with a photo of the apartment number with one of Sonny's signs underneath. The message read: "To the asshole who keeps doing this to my apartment. If I find you, I'm going to kick your ass."

Barba probably intended the notice as a warning more than anything else. But guilt washed over him in waves. This was a mild annoyance to Barba at best, but Sonny knew first hand how small things could add up while in a stressful job. He really shouldn't have continued after that first time. He could still just stop and no one would be the wiser. However, Sonny felt he owed the man an explanation. He was _really_ not looking forward to that conversation.

  


* * *

  


Sonny waited until he was sure Barba was home before he walked over and knocked on his door. Barba opened it within 30 seconds. He frowned. No doubt he thought this was work-related. Sonny hadn’t bothered to change out of his suit for the day either.

"Detective Carisi, how do you know where I live?"

Sonny rubbed the back of his neck. ”I, uh, actually live across the hall."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. And, um, I'm the one that keeps hanging the sign on your door."

His eyebrows raised. A smile appeared. He didn't seem annoyed, only amused. "You are? I'm surprised an NYPD officer would commit vandalism. Let alone admit it to an ADA."

“Vandalism is for marking property with the intent to or effect of destroying it. I doubt a little piece of tape would cause much harm to your door. And besides, the door is technically owned by the landlord so you wouldn't even be the wronged party if that were the case."

"Right. You're in law school. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, Detective."

Sonny corrected him before he could stop himself. “It's actually a little _learning_ is a dangerous thing."

Barba leaned against his doorframe and smirked at him. "I think you're proving my point here."

"No, really. It is. Alexander Pope. 'A little learning is a dangerous thing; drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring." Sonny knew the rest of the short poem, but stopped before he could cause himself even more embarrassment. 

"So what? Did you major in obscure literary quotes for your undergrad?"

"Nah. As you can tell by my sense of humor, I'm kinda a nerd."

"Noted. But I'm willing to let this little prank slide if you don't do it again."

"So no ass kicking?"

Barba shrugged. "I don't feel like being charged for assaulting a police officer over a piece of paper."

"Well, I'm not on duty right now so that charge wouldn't technically count."

"Quit while you're ahead, Carisi."

Sonny nodded. "Right. Well. Sorry for annoying you."

"Apology accepted. Now let me eat my dinner in peace."

“You know if you want, you can come over to my place sometime. I like cooking for people." Once again, it was like his mouth was running on its own. The offer was out before he even knew he was thinking it.

Barba gave him a small smile. “Thanks, but I'll pass."

“That’s okay. Have a good night, Counselor.”

“You too.”

Barba closed his door and Sonny retreated to his apartment. Well, that probably didn’t endear him to Barba at all. Wonderful.

The next morning, it was Sonny who had to pause on his way out. Right under his apartment number 405 was a handwritten sign that read "apartment not allowed."

Sonny laughed. The 405 "method not allowed" error was more obscure than 404. Barba (unless he had a computer science degree as well as a law degree) most likely would have had to google it. Sonny was impressed with his forethought. Barba shared his sense of humor after all. 

Sonny left the sign hanging and walked toward the elevator. He couldn't wait to see the Counselor in person.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  [inspired by this post](https://bitchycode.tumblr.com/post/165899401688)


End file.
